I want to be criticized.
Rejected.
Disliked.
And ignored.
I want people to talk crap, make fun, snicker behind my back and laugh AT me when I walk away.
I want to stutter, fumble and go blank when I get up to speak in a room full of people.
I want to post a question and get no response, insta a photo and get no love, tell a joke and have no one laugh. Not even my mom.
“Hey, leave a comment!” ZERO COMMENTS.
I want to cry (and let my voice go all shaky) when someone confronts me and I’m uncomfortable. Or when I have to do something that makes me nervous.
I want to cry ALOT. with friends, strangers, alone and in company. I wanna UGLY cry. BooHoo. LOUD. in workshops, classes, meetings and therapy. Whenever it strikes me.
I want to look stupid.
I want to be wrong, make BIG mistakes… HUGE. and fail. EPIC FAIL. like 1,000,000 times.
But then…
I’ll get to be
Shame LESS
Fear LESS
Care LESS
& FREE.
UN inhibited
Me.
I’ll get to be me.
Can that be enough (even if no one approves and everyone watches)?
Let’s see.
Happy October xo
Carla